Instead of celebrating success, it's time to talk about failure

by Kit Lim

“I’m so tired of talking and sharing about successes….”

That was a conversation between two individuals. So apparently, the individual who made the statement is a team leader and he regularly conducts townhall with his team members to share success stories to motivate others.

After one of their regular townhall sessions, he blurted that out to another team mate.

Which kind of took others by surprise.

After all, this is a society that celebrates success stories, one where we cheer for the winners. We all want to hear how you did it. We want to know your recipe for success.

So, why then is there a “success fatigue”?

Or rather, one where people are simply tired of sharing the successes, or perhaps the good stuff.

Indeed, I do not deny that I am sometimes tired of hearing “successes” all the time.

Not that I am a sadist and wish that people would fail, but behind every success, there are much more failures, seldom spoken of. .

Success however, makes it a spot on the table, whereas failure is swept under the rag, never to be seen.

There are much fewer people who are successful compared to individuals who failed.

But by what metrics again, one might ask?

In the corporate world, is that in monetary terms or how high up you are on your career ladder? Indeed, success and failure are pretty much subjective in nature.

We need to normalise failure.

Failure is part and parcel of life. We need to make failure ok and establish a culture, mindset and psychological safety for people who failed. Rather than condemning failure and getting stressed up over it (mental well-being anyone?), we should be open to discuss it. This also allows us to embrace the situation, and feel more authentic about who we are, without the need to cover it up for fear of ridicule or embarrassment.

But how do we do that? After all, organisations are profit driven and have very little tolerance for failure.

As the old adage goes - Failure is the mother of all success.

I have seen leaders who have participated in failure forums, sharing not success stories, but their failures, and the level of resonance that they garnered from their employees is much higher than when they share successes. Because you know what, suddenly they seem more

human, they are like you and me.

By sharing our failures, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, allowing you to see a part of our “unglamorous” side. We have essentially reduced the barriers around us for you to see a part of us that is typically hidden from the exterior facade.

And as Brene Brown, a research professor who has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy said: “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.”

Successes are well celebrated. Perhaps it’s time that we can put failure into the spotlight as well.

And we can all afford to be a little vulnerable.